Review: Gobblie Goo Goo Lube

July 30th, 2012 | Filed Under: Accessories -Lube -Oral Sex -Penetration | 3 Comments | Tags: ,

After the botch that is Bad Dragon Cum Lube, I found myself looking for an alternative lube that looks and feels like semen. Why? Because I’m kinky that way!

After wading around the internet, I came across Gobblie Goo’s website and their Goo Lube: a Do It Yourself semen lookalike.

Sure, their site looks like it stepped out of a 1990’s time machine, but the product had me curious. As the old saying goes, never judge a book by it’s cover. So, does Gobblie Goo’s Goo Lube finally give that creampie experience, or is it just another dud? Let’s find out!

Item Specifics
Ingredients: Arrowroot Powder, Xanthan Gum, Salt, Potassium Sorbate.

Thickness: Variable.
Feel when wet: Varies. Usually thick, slick and creamy.
Drying Time: varies by thickness
Dries: crusty and flaky

Features: Looks like semen, tastes like semen, feels like semen, vagina safe, Glycerine and Paraben Free, make it as thick or thin as you want.

Red’s Warnings
This stuff requires refrigeration once cooked. Put it into a zip-lock bag with all the air removed for storage. To reheat, place bag into a bowl of hot (not boiling!) water and wait. Expires in about one week.

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Ronald McDildo

July 27th, 2012 | Filed Under: Humor | No Comments

Now available in the brand new Extra Happy Meal…

Thanks Uncyclopedia.

Porn Behind the Scenes

July 25th, 2012 | Filed Under: Educational -Erotic -Homosexual -Lesbian -Photogtaphy | 2 Comments

Have you ever wondered what is going on just off camera when you look at porn? Here is a rare glimpse into what we don’t see in those re-touched, airbrushed pictures floating around the net.

Behold: A Fluffer!

Click for Fullsized. (Warning: large)

It’s this young lady’s job to keep the models in the shoot happy and looking their best. In this case, she’s using a vibrator on the top so she can give a more convincing “this is fun!” face while keeping the actress’ hair out of the camera’s way. In other scenes she mop away sweat with a cloth, bring up a bottle of lube, or rearrange pillows a little. Fluffers don’t have to have to touch the actors, but this one doesn’t seem to mind.

Picture from Explicite Art.

Review: Bad Dragon Cum Lube (White)

July 23rd, 2012 | Filed Under: Accessories -Furry -Lube -Penetration | 3 Comments | Tags: , , ,

Looks and feels like real cum! Long lasting, fragrance free, silicone safe. (…) Bad Dragon Cum Lube us a white tinted, viscous lube designed to replicate real cum, only much stickier and easier to obtain in quantity!

Those are some pretty fancy claims, but are they true? Let’s put BD’s Cum Lube to the test and find out!

Item Specifics
Ingredients: Water, Polyethylene Oxide, Titanium Dioxide, Propylparaben, Methylparaben.

Thickness: Slug Slime
Feel when wet: slimy, stringy, and gooey
Drying Time: About 2 hours
Dries: Crusty

Features: Glycerine free, “looks like cum”

Red’s Warnings
Do not use if you’re allergic to paraben. Titanium Dioxide may irritate mucous membranes in anus/vagina. Not really silicone safe. Also shake before using.

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Ghetto Electric Mixer

July 20th, 2012 | Filed Under: Humor -Photogtaphy | No Comments

Need an electric mixer and don’t have any money? Learn from the Ghetto Electric Toothbrush and make your own.

Picture found on JokesLand.Ru

Bifurcated Glass

July 18th, 2012 | Filed Under: Art -Erotic -female -Heterosexual -Photogtaphy -Solo | 1 Comment | Tags: ,

Did you know that a bifurcated tongue can move in more than one direction at once? It’s true! Once a tongue is split the two halves can function almost independently of one another. Of course this lends itself to many interesting uses….

Photography by Fuck Machine.

Duel: Tiny Tentacle by Damn Average

One, two, three… oh lord, five tentacles! My blog isn’t turning into a bad hentai is it? Nope! I actually own five totally different Custom Tiny Tentacles made by Damn Average.

Sheep down at Damn Average has a wide variety of different styles she can apply to the toys she makes. Dip, drips, plain, matte, shiny, and even water like effects are all possible! Which pattern is the best? Let’s duel!

Item Specifics
Diameter: about 1.5 inches at widest
Circumference: 4.5 inches at widest
Usable length: 4 inches
total length: 5.25 inches
Hardness: Medium (thick Jello) or Hard (tightly rolled socks). Your choice.

Features: Your choice of colors, patterns, and hardness, waterproof, distinct texture from suckers

Material: 100% silicone

Red’s Warnings
Do not use silicone lube on this toy. Otherwise, it’s safe for pretty much anyone, even beginners.

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July 13th, 2012 | Filed Under: Art -Gay -Homosexual -Humor -Photogtaphy | No Comments | Tags:

Porn faces can be funny sometimes. However, when I saw this face it kept reminding me of something…

Oh crap, I have seen that face before! He’s famous all over the internet!

Who knew that Y U NO guy worked in gay porn?

Unedited picture by Lucas Entertainment, Edited version by me.

Little Smile

July 11th, 2012 | Filed Under: Erotic -Gay -Homosexual -Male -Photogtaphy -Solo | No Comments | Tags:

Bondage sure is popular lately. It might not be for everyone, but look at this guy. See that little smile? That’s the face of a happy camper who can’t wait to see what happens next.

Picture found by Fuck Yeah Daddies.

Review: Tit Tarts in Strawberry

July 9th, 2012 | Filed Under: Review | 1 Comment | Tags: , , ,

Today I’m reviewing Strawberry Tit Tarts. Yes, these are boob shaped candies in a little tin. People generally buy them as a prank gift for friends, but sometimes it pays to know what you are buying.

So, are Tit Tarts a gift worth receiving or are they a bad joke? Let’s find out!

Item Specifics
Ingredients: glucose powder, corn syrup, magnesium stearate, artificial flavor, artificial color (FD&C red 3)

Number per container: around 18

Nutritional facts:
Serving: 3 pieces, about 6 servings per bottle
15 callories, fat free
3g Carbohydrates, 3g sugars. No vitamins.

Red’s Warnings
Not good for diabetics (sugar) or young children (choking hazard), but it should be safe for anyone else.

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