Review: Gobblie Goo Goo Lube

July 30th, 2012 | Filed Under: Accessories -Lube -Oral Sex -Penetration | Tags: ,

After the botch that is Bad Dragon Cum Lube, I found myself looking for an alternative lube that looks and feels like semen. Why? Because I’m kinky that way!

After wading around the internet, I came across Gobblie Goo’s website and their Goo Lube: a Do It Yourself semen lookalike.

Sure, their site looks like it stepped out of a 1990’s time machine, but the product had me curious. As the old saying goes, never judge a book by it’s cover. So, does Gobblie Goo’s Goo Lube finally give that creampie experience, or is it just another dud? Let’s find out!

Item Specifics
Ingredients: Arrowroot Powder, Xanthan Gum, Salt, Potassium Sorbate.

Thickness: Variable.
Feel when wet: Varies. Usually thick, slick and creamy.
Drying Time: varies by thickness
Dries: crusty and flaky

Features: Looks like semen, tastes like semen, feels like semen, vagina safe, Glycerine and Paraben Free, make it as thick or thin as you want.

Red’s Warnings
This stuff requires refrigeration once cooked. Put it into a zip-lock bag with all the air removed for storage. To reheat, place bag into a bowl of hot (not boiling!) water and wait. Expires in about one week.

Yes, boys and girls, this lube requires cooking. I tried just mixing it with water and got something pretty much unusable. I also tried rubbing the powder on and adding water with equally dismal results.

On the up side, cooked Goo Lube freezes very well. Just make some lube cubes by freezing Goo Lube in an ice tray, then pop them into a freezer bag to keep them handy. Whenever you want fresh, warm lube microwave them on defrost for a few seconds. Some water will come out, but that’s ok: just whip the lube with a small hand whisk or fork until smooth and creamy again.

How to Make This Stuff
I looked at the package directions, scaled them down, and couldn’t make it work. Here’s a better version that makes less lube easier. This recipe uses about 1/5 of a package, so scale it as needed.

You’ll need…
2 and 1/2 tablespoons water
1/2 teaspoon Goo Lube Powder
Small saucepan (4 cup or less)
Hand wisk (optional)
Electric mixer

Pour the water into the sauce pan.
Gently sprinkle a light film of Goo Lube powder on top
Use the hand wisk or mixer on low to stir it in.
Repeat this until all powder is used.
Don’t rush or you’ll get huge clumps and the lube won’t work.
It will create a milky liquid with teeny, stringy clumps.

Put the sauce pan of powder-water mixture on the stove on low.
Use the electric mixer on low and keep stirring.
Cook about 5 minutes or until hot and thick.
Allow to cool before use.

This makes about 3 tablespoons very thick lube.

To thin it out (I like it this way!)
Add about 2 and 1/2 tablespoons water to the cooled thick lube.
Stir with hand wisk (or mixer on low) until it’s well mixed (no lumps)
Return to heat on low using the mixer, again.
Cook 5-10 minutes or until thickened.
Allow to cool before using.

To make it thicker cook it longer.
To make it thinner, add more water as described then cook again.


Once cooked it looks very convincing! Check it out.

Click for Fullsized

Impressive, no? Let’s compare it to Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube (white).

The pasty ghost-white stuff on right is Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube. The stuff in the bag is my freshly made Goo Lube.

Flavor-wise it was very much like cum + lubricant. I could taste both in the mix, which was a nice change. As you can see from the pictures, it looks the part as well. The texture was slippery and felt great running over my fingers.

Armed with warm, fresh lube I just had to give it a try! It wasn’t the smoothest entry I have ever had, but it didn’t feel bad. Things only really changed once I started thrusting away: there was a little drag which heightened sensation.

Goo Lube really seems to shine in squirting toys. When I was finished with my dildo, I decided to fill myself up with the remainder of the warm lube. It felt just like getting filled with cum only without any sort of nasty side risks like STDs or pregnancy. The texture was perfect. It even moved right!

When I was finished, the excess Goo Lube washed off very easily with little to clean up. The warm, soothing texture really felt wonderful after a vigorous round of masturbation. I also found there was no irritation and that all the goo lube seemed to have either dripped out or soaked in within 24 hours.

Pros: It really does look and feel like cum. Non-irritating, glycerine & paraben free, cleans up easily, freezes well, silicone safe.

Cons: Not waterproof, needs to be made fresh at least weekly if kept fresh, requires refrigeration if kept fresh.

The Verdict: Worth it

This so far is the nicest cum analog I have run into! It beats Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube hands down in texture, taste, and looks. Just be ready to don your chef hat once in awhile and you’re in for a treat!

Click here to go get some goo Lube!

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