Review: Bad Dragon Cum Lube (White)

July 23rd, 2012 | Filed Under: Accessories -Furry -Lube -Penetration | Tags: , , ,

Looks and feels like real cum! Long lasting, fragrance free, silicone safe. (…) Bad Dragon Cum Lube us a white tinted, viscous lube designed to replicate real cum, only much stickier and easier to obtain in quantity!

Those are some pretty fancy claims, but are they true? Let’s put BD’s Cum Lube to the test and find out!

Item Specifics
Ingredients: Water, Polyethylene Oxide, Titanium Dioxide, Propylparaben, Methylparaben.

Thickness: Slug Slime
Feel when wet: slimy, stringy, and gooey
Drying Time: About 2 hours
Dries: Crusty

Features: Glycerine free, “looks like cum”

Red’s Warnings
Do not use if you’re allergic to paraben. Titanium Dioxide may irritate mucous membranes in anus/vagina. Not really silicone safe. Also shake before using.

Performance
When I got out the bottle I gave my Cum Lube a good look. It’s white, really white. It looks like Elmer’s Glue in there! I understand that Bad Dragon is trying for a semen white, but they just didn’t have the color correct. Spreading it over my fingers didn’t help. It’s just too white!

I opened the bottle and took a whiff. It doesn’t smell like cum at all, nor does it smell like lube. This lubricant smells waxy with a little chemical scent to it, a lot like a glue stick. The undiluted lube even tasted like a glue stick. Wondering if I’d bought expensive glue, I tried bonding two pieces of paper together with a thin layer of Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube. It failed. Thank heavens!

The test on my silicone swatches came up as iffy. Some damage to the surface seemed to happen from the BD Cum Lube, though it was not as severe as other brands of lube had been.  Be very careful if using this lube on silicone toys as exposure over time may cause serious damage like etching, pock marks, or bubbles.

Still, in the name of Science(!) I went forward with the testing anyway with lube applicator in hand and rinsing bottle just in case things went poorly.

When inside, BD’s Cum Lube felt funny. it was a slimy, thick feeling very different from most mainstream lubes like KY Jelly. It felt nothing like semen. The Cum Lube dripped and sloshed as I worked my toy to and fro making a sticky white mess that smelled like my fluids diluted with melted glue sticks. Sure, the toy kept going with little friction and didn’t stick to my insides or anything terrible like that, but the gooey texture was not sexy.

When it was time to wash off I found out it wouldn’t come off. It took four washing to get all the dried lube off my skin. Soaking barely dented it. This lube is nigh-waterproof, which gave me an idea.

I added a little hot water to the tub and poured in the rest of the BD cum Lube, just for a lark. The water turned a pale, milky white as the lube dispersed. Stepping in everything felt wet, slippery and a little slimy. I had made a lube bath! Amused, I grabbed a few toys I didn’t care much about and went to town.

Thankfully, all the water in the tube diluted the Cum Lube to the point that a couple rinses with hot water removed it all from both me and the tub. I was feeling sore, but cheery from the whimsical expedition.

Then the discomfort started. The titanium dioxide had irritated my insides. I hurt for a week solid, even after rinsing out as a desperate bid to make it stop. It failed.

Pros: Cheap, almost waterproof

Cons: Can irritate insides, will break down silicone toys over time, looks and smells like glue.

The Verdict: Not worth it.

This product fails hard on so many levels. It fails at looking, feeling, and smelling like cum. It fails as a lube. It fails at being silicone safe. Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube is only good as a gag gift. I’d never buy it for use.

I know what you’re thinking. “But Red, there has to be something good about this lube! Aren’t there any other companies making Cum Lube? I don’t think so! We have no choice here!”

Well, friends, do not despair. There is competition and I will be telling you all about them next week. Until then, just remember: Lack of competition or a recognized name doesn’t always make a product worth it. See you guys next week!

3 Responses to “Review: Bad Dragon Cum Lube (White)”

  1. If it’s iffy on silicone why does the bottle say it’s safe on silicone?

  2. by Red Black on July 30th, 2012 12:53 am

    I actually contacted the company on this one. Bad Dragon’s official stance is that as long as it’s “used correctly” and washed off well right afterward, it’s safe. Of course, not everyone washes the lube off right after playing which is why I bothered testing. By the way, if their lube damages the toy they made to be compatible with Cum Lube, it voids the warentee. No refunds.

  3. by Objects In Space on July 29th, 2012 9:22 am

    It smells and looks like glue? I should fill bottles with it just to annoy ppl.

Leave a Reply